Medieval Short

MatlockMatlock Senior
edited September 2010 in Creative Writing
Burst of Inspiration
This is my first and only writing I have ever done (yet) as a result of a sudden burst of inspiration.

I have received somewhat good feedback from a few people so I decided to share this here also, criticism is very welcome so I can improve myself as a writer. One thing though, sorry for using second person if it bothers someone.

You can find me in game as FoxHound.

Try to enjoy.

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You gaze into his very soul, through his eyes. You see he is a rookie, rookie's eyes.
You see fear, but he tries his best to look sure. With hands slightly shaking, he draws his sword from the sheath, takes his colorful and decorated steel shield from the hold and readies himself.
You can't help but feel whimsical inside you, looking at the whimpy guard trying to look so big and fearless.

You take another long look into his deep green eyes as drops of sweat fall from his blonde hair.

He knows what is coming, and he knows very well that there is no way to escape from the situation either.
You on the other hand know he is no match for you, you almost feel pity, you almost feel bad.
Knowing that this is something that has to be done, You draw your claymore with carvings dancing on it's vicious blade, the sight of this was already enough to smash the morale of the poor young guard, he realizes that his life ends tonight.

Finding yourself almost hesitating for a moment, you take a firm grip of your sword and feel no longer pity or hesitation, he is just another corpse in the pile. He takes a quick glance at you and stands ready, in the same battle stance as every other guard.

You walk up to him with long and heavy steps, You feel how your vision changes into tunnel vision, you notice how you stop feeling anything and how the adrenaline starts to flow. Moment of tranquility strikes you, a moment where nothing happens and time flows slow, you take your last look into the eyes of the poor fellow.

You raise your sword ferociously and the guard desperately raises his shield in response, just as you expected.
Then, as you start bringing down your claymore from the heavens into his shield, you transform the powerful upper swing into a wide and quick lower slash, slicing his legs from the knees like two little wooden sticks.

The guard has hard time seeing anything from behind the shield, but as he hears the clean cracking and humming sound, he knows something is wrong.
As you take a step back, you can only stand and witness as he sits in a pool of blood trying to understand what has happened.

You start walking away, knowing that you have already done enough. Only after a while you start hearing the helpless screams of unspeakable fear.

You can't help but feel bad, he must have had kids to feed and a wife waiting in home for her husband to return from his shift.
Standing there for a while, relishing the moment and listening the screams change into whimpering, then into quiet gasps and finally into complete silence.

To your surprise, your eyes wet.

”Why?” You wonder, he was not the first one and most certainly not the last one either.

”Why?”

Comments

  • Blood-WiperBlood-Wiper Vicious Psycho Banned
    edited September 2010
    PLEASE PUBLISH IT!!! 100 years from now it might replace those other short story wrighters that they make you read in school, ya never know, a drug-abuser can.
    Little bit banned
  • J-coJ-co Tramp Senior
    edited 3:48AM
    QUOTE (Blood-Wiper @ Sep 20 2010, 11:42 PM) »
    PLEASE PUBLISH IT!!! 100 years from now it might replace those other short story wrighters that they make you read in school, ya never know, a drug-abuser can.


    Well that wont happen for a reason...

    anyways, very good forum story.
    guitarsmallb.jpg
    I have an aristocratic smile and like to punch people
  • Teh_SuxTeh_Sux Senior
    edited 3:48AM
    why?
    I have learned my lesson at last and may have a real forum signature thanks to the kind mercy of Bingo Bango
  • Teh_SuxTeh_Sux Senior
    edited 3:48AM
    What I mean is, there is no reason at all for the knight to br crying.
    Unless it isn't in the story.
    I have learned my lesson at last and may have a real forum signature thanks to the kind mercy of Bingo Bango
  • MatlockMatlock Senior
    edited 3:48AM
    I can't really understand if you liked it or not, but anyway, feel free to check out my DeviantArt gallery while you're here, I'd appreciate it.



    http://poiuppi.deviantart.com/gallery/
  • Blood-WiperBlood-Wiper Vicious Psycho Banned
    edited 3:48AM
    I like the valiant effort, but why do they have horned helmets, pisses me off every time I see them.
    Little bit banned
  • MatlockMatlock Senior
    edited September 2010
    QUOTE (Blood-Wiper @ Sep 26 2010, 07:07 PM) »
    I like the valiant effort, but why do they have horned helmets, pisses me off every time I see them.


    Because I felt like adding horns to the helmet, I'm not trying to be historically accurate or realistic in any sense.
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